You work out of a Hotel?
I bet he comes in French.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
