I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
