it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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