a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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