Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
