my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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