her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
