i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
