He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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