Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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