you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
