Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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