So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
