I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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