her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
