Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
