i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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