I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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