Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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