I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
