In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
