Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize