What a fucking waste of an outfit
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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