yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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