yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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