Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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