Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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