Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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