I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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