i need an iv and a liver transplant
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
