I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My penis needs a shock collar
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
