i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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