best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
