If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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