Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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