She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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