I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
