She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
