If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
