Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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