If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
