nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
