Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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