I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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