We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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