I have demons in me.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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