i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
