Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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