So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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