Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
