I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
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Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
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I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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