this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
