You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
