How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
operation have a gay friend backfired
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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