i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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