Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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