ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
