I've blown a few things in my day
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
