It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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