whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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