Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Operation Purity has been aborted
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
