I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
