Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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